The Sweetness, etc.

Standard

I am watching (500) Days of Summer.

And I’ve just realized something:  I am Tom Hanson (Joseph Gordon Levitt).

It is funny, because I completely identify with his character despite the fact that I have been, at times, likened to Zooey Deschanel, who plays Summer Finn.  I mean, it’s pretty amazing the comparisons blue eyes, bangs and a generally cheerful disposition will get you, but I like being compared to her so I will spread it around even if it’s probably not so true.

Sometimes I also like to pretend that I am a little like the character Summer Finn – independent, quirky, hip, free-spirited and untamable.

Truth is, that I have much more of Tom “Perfectly Adequate” Hanson in me than Summer Finn.  Namely in that I have a long and storied history of developing wild crushes on people based upon fictions. Even when I have gotten to know people, I can still project my own version of someone onto someone and carry that around with me for a long time.  Like, a long, long time.

omg we like one band in common! we’re totally getting married!

It is why I am not only still single, but am always single.  The constant disappointment of learning that people are real people and not the built-up, fictional versions of themselves that I have been obsessing over makes dating hard.

It’s probably why I hated Summer Finn the first couple times I saw this movie.

You see Tom jump to all sorts of conclusions about his compatibility with Summer based on non-legit criteria (like a shared interest in banana slugs) and develop a relationship with her that is built on selfish projections, if not full on delusions.  The train-wreck of their relationship is almost entirely his fault because of this.

This problem I have also relates to The Jake Ryan Complex, which is a classic issue stemming from the movie Sixteen Candles.  See, Molly Ringwald has a crazy crush on Jake Ryan because he is hot.  That is all she really knows about him, but in the way of high school crushes, that is all she really needs to know.

He is really way super hot, in fairness to Molly Ringwald.

really way super hot.

In Sixteen Candles, Jake Ryan turns out to be a nice guy and also interested in Molly Ringwald.  He shows up to her sister’s wedding in a tiny convertible and gets her a birthday cake.

I have always wanted that – the guy who you obsess over from afar turns out to like you too and also turns out to be a person worth liking.

Here is a Ze Frank video that discusses a similar topic as well:

 

I know I post a lot of his videos, but it is because they tend to really hit me where I live.  This one especially speaks to my soul, even more than all the Cheese Monster stuff he put out.

The craving for The Sweetness has been the main problem of my life, worse by far than my addiction to cheddar.

From now on, I am going to try very hard to stop being like Tom Hanson, and to stop waiting for a Jake Ryan, and to let go of the Sweetness, is the whole point of this blog post.

I think it will be hard, but I think it is worth trying.

Advertisements

Cheese Monster made me do it.

Standard

This happened last night, 10:00PM:

To clarify: I did NOT eat the Floor Refresher Spray

It was only a minor set-back, in terms of pulling myself together food-wise.  In the past three days I have gotten myself back on the right track.  I have eaten many fruits and quite a few vegetables and virtually nothing with added sugar.

That last has been particularly hard since I am coming down off a trip to my Grandma’s, where apart from having had 24/7 access to chips, ice cream and soda, I basically mainlined Starbursts for 48 hours straight.  It is just what you do at Grandma’s, but suddenly stopping the steady stream of Starburst sugar sent my system staggering.

(p.s. I just won a gold medal for alliteration!)

So although I was basically tweaking on processed sugar and jumping out of my skin looking for another hit, I avoided temptation and I think it’s mostly out of my system.

I’ve had but the one quesadilla incident that I consider a failure.

Of course, it wasn’t ME who made the quesadilla, it was my Cheese Monster.  Of the Cheese Monster, Ze Frank says:

And when I get that feeling in my stomach, you know the feeling when all of a sudden you get a ball of energy and it shoots down into your legs and up into your arms and it tells you to get up and stand up and go to the refrigerator and get a cheese sandwich: that’s my cheese monster talking and my cheese monster will never be satisfied by cheddar, only the cheese of accomplishment.

Ze Frank is like my new guru: I listen to what he says and I think about it.  He takes mundane topics and speaks about them with humor and insight.  He has crazy eyes that I absolutely love and thanks to him, I have a name to give the thing inside me that drives me to get up and eat some cheese, which is a thing I do a lot, and that name is Cheese Monster and it’s brilliant.

Of course, my Cheese Monster is still craving cheddar (and feta, manchego, wensleydale, provolone, &c.) rather than accomplishment.  At least it has a name now, so I can work on redirecting it.

Ze Frank also just just just put up THIS video about having high cholesterol in which he talks to an unnamed inner-version of himself that I believe to be HIS Cheese Monster.  This video SPEAKS TO MY SOUL:

I am very bad at fighting that inner voice, but I do want to live a longer and healthier life and my Cheese Monster has been out of control lately.

It is something to think about, and to work on.  I am very good at thinking about things, it’s just the working on them that I need to work on. I’m working on it though.

More areas of my life in which I am pulling myself back together to follow!

Fandom!

Standard

Fans of the television show Star Trek are called Trekkers.  Don’t call them Trekkies, unless you want to come across like some super-lame nerd-philistine.

“Trekkers are the most enduring and famous fan base with a name” is a fact.  Okay, not an actual fact…but I imagine it is probably true.  And though I am not a Trekker, I have certainly toyed with going back and watching the show…pretty much just because I really like participating in Fandoms.

I have realized as an adult that not everyone becomes a FAN of things the way I do.  They don’t buy sonic screw drivers and fezzes, paint glitter Daleks, make countless iron-on-transfer t-shirts about Ron Weasley, have the words “Winter is Coming” on their desktop background, worry that they may actually be a Cylon, or put Nerf Herder on every single work-out mix they’ve ever made.

I really particularly like it when fan bases have a name.  I like being able to declare that I am a “________”, even if I am only a casual one.  TV shows (Gleeks), musicians (Fanilows), movies (Achievers, which are fans of Big Lebowski apparently), books (Twi-hards) all have fandoms.

I self-identify with none of those listed, FYI.

I do, however, self-identify with some others.  For example, I am a:

  • Whovian

I don’t actually have my certification.

  • Scooby:
buffy scoobies Buffy Scooby Gang T Shirt

That’s a Buffy Fan

  • Browncoat

Firefly. Seriously Whedon Fans really like to organize.

  • Nerdfighter

Youtube Vloggers Hank and John Green and their online community

  • Sportsracer

Ze Frank, GENIUS

Still – so many of the shows, movies, books that I love the most do not have universally-agreed-upon fandom names. In my research, I found this comic strip, with which I very much identified:

Srsly, man- what ARE they called?

Apparently some people called Harry Potter fans “Potterheads” which I think is a straight-up dumb name, and it certainly doesn’t span the fan population.  I’d rather be a part of Dumbledore’s Army or some other name that is better than that, because that’s not very good either.

Of course, lack of a name is not going to stop me from participating in a Fandom because it’s only like, my favorite thing to do.  I have a suspicion that as long as there are new nerdy shows and movies and musicians and books, I’ll still be inspired to be a FAN.

Get it?!?!? If not, we can’t be friends any more.

filaments, filaments, filaments

Standard

OMG guys, I was watching a rerun of New Girl tonight and Jess put some sexy lace underwear on her head and said, “I hope Mr. Darcy likes my new bonnet” in a poshy British accent.  How appropriate for Pride and Prejudice week, am I right?

Besides that, I don’t really feel like writing about P&P today.

Instead I am going to make an off-topic bullet list of all the ideas I very nearly posted to Twitter today, but then didn’t:

  • If I could meet a guy I like half as much as I like microwave burritos, I’d marry him tomorrow.
  • Tried on one of every single type of exercise bottom they have at Target today. Like literally.
  • Russian Model on New Girl made my day. MICK MOUSE!?!?  Classic.
  • Why do they put seams right down the front of jogging pants?  It’s like they want me to have a camel toe.
  • End of the year fifth graders.  Am I right?
  • You know when you’re boiling a chicken and you completely forget about it?  The WORST!
  • My new deodorant smells like the deodorant I used in Ireland.  Please excuse me while I sniff my armpits and get carried away by the olfactory nostalgia.
  • I overuse the phrase, “am I right,”, am I right??
  • Coworker asked if he had indeed seen me singing and dancing by myself in the copy room, and I answered, “I was just talking to the printer.”  Which was true, but no less weird.

I bet you are thinking “I’d for certain like to follow this person on Twitter to keep myself up-to-the-minute with her zany, mad-cap adventures.  What is her Twitter ID thingy?”


It’s Fauxspectacles, in case you are feeling enticed.

OH!  And I almost forgot:

I am late to this game but Ze Frank is amazing.  I watched this video and also all his other ones and I’m all, “MAN, he’s brilliant” the whole time, because MAN, he is.  His face alone makes him worth subscribing to.