say goodnight, not goodbye

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The series finale of Dawson’s Creek was the first DVD I ever bought.  Seriously.  It was used and on Amazon for like $9 and it came with a heinously water-damaged insert, though the disc itself was intact.

That DVD has paid for itself about ten times over, my friends, mangled insert and everything.

I just watched it once again after marathoning season 3 this past week and it was as cheesy, lame, heartbreaking and beautiful as ever.  I JUST LOVE IT.

Like my favorite quote from Dawson:

It’s interesting how people use that expression, “life and death.”  As if to imply that life is the opposite of death.  Birth is the opposite of death.  Life…has no opposite.

Deep stuff, Mr. Leery.  Real deep.

Because of the sadness of Jen, the happy ending of Jack and Deputy Doug, the mending of fences between Dawson and Joey/Pacey and the fact that Joey actually ended up with Pacey for real, for real, for real, these have always been two of my favorite hours of television, even if they do make me sob like a pathetic weirdo.

Now, I hear from my mom that thousands of people across the city of Providence are without power from the storm, so I better get started watching Youtube montages of Pacey and Joey set to emo songs before I too am without electricity and have to do something lame with my time, you know, like read a book or something.

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Did I fall asleep?

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Here’s some free advice for you:

If you are a person who suffers from frequent, intense and incredibly realistic night-terror hallucinations in which you become convinced that people are somehow invading your bedroom and using technology to steal your life and/or control your mind, maybe don’t watch a whole bunch of episodes of the TV show Dollhouse right before you go to bed.

Dollhouse, in case you didn’t know, is a show in which technology is used to steal people’s lives and control their minds.  It is very good, actually – made by Joss Whedon, features Tahmoh Penikett: Handsomest Man Ever, has a slew of really excellent characters, makes me forget how much I cannot stand actress Eliza Dushku in most things – just all around top-notch storytelling, I say.

But seriously, man…I suffer from night terrors and have since way before I ever watched Dollhouse.  Not like wake up in another room holding a knife or scream my head of at 4 am or punch the person I’m sleeping next to night terrors.

I just sometimes wake up (or do I?  Am I actually just dreaming?) in the middle of the night, and believe that I see things (wires, cameras, other DEVICES) and feel things (like my soul being sucked out through my fingertips or my arms being controlled by outside forces) and I usually believe it to be my neighbors behind the plot and it scares me a lot.  I freak out, naturally, but I never get up or make noise.  I just wait a few minutes and my mind both clears and gets fuzzy; it returns to its regular, non-terrified state and I realize I’ve been having a night terror but the thing that had been terrifying me becomes very vague and difficult to remember.

Then I fall back asleep and that’s that.

[I was going to embed a video of one my most favorite television scenes involving night terrors, but it wouldn’t let me embed it, so click this link you and it will take you to one of my most favorite television scenes involving night terrors]

In the moment, I always really believe whatever thing is happening is real…so much so, that I sometimes kind of believe the whole situation is real when I am awake and talking about it.  It just seems like this happens an awful lot for it to not be real.  And I mean, pretty convenient that I never quite remember exactly what it was that I saw, you know?  A little too convenient…

Of course, I do realize that the nice PhD candidates who lived downstairs from me at my last apartment were not trying to use dark magic/surveillance cameras to steal my life force.  And while the elderly British mother-son duo who live in the adjacent apartment to me and smell like soy sauce may be hoarding stuff, I understand that they are certainly not feeding wires from their kitchen through my bedroom window to control my mind.

This is a problem for which I currently have no solution.  I’ve spent a lot of time moving furniture and decor in my bedroom(s) trying to blame the terrors on bad feng shui.  In my experience, good feng shui does help to ease the symptoms, but it has not been a total cure.  Truth is, when I feel stressed out about something my night terrors happen more often.  New school year, for example, combined with oh-so-many episodes of Dollhouse before beddy-bye, it’s just a recipe for disaster.

I will have to risk one more night of it because I have one more episode of Dollhouse left and I must know how it ends.

Not so handsome as Agent Paul Ballard [swoon], but Topher Brink here is my favorite.

Also, I meant to write about Good Stuff during Good Stuff Week, like Love and My Family and Streaming TV on Netflix.  Unfortunately, I am moving on to Back to School Week, which means Whatever I Feel Like Week, because going to back to school is hard.  But those are some examples of Good Stuff in my life, aight?

Crushing it!

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I was going to save this one for later in the week, but let’s talk TV Crushes – those characters that get inside your brain and keep you coming back week after week after week for more, sometimes to shows that aren’t even very good.

Here we go: My Biggest TV Character Crushes!

  • Karl “Helo” Agathon, Battlestar Galactica – see, he’s the reason this one got bumped to earlier in the week, because this is it: the week I finally finish BSG, learn who the final Cylon is and try to control myself from lovingly stroking my laptop screen every time Helo’s face comes on it.  I mean, in terms  of personality and character development, he’s certainly not the most well-developed on BSG.  He is the strong and silent type, enjoys taking the moral high road when given the choice and cuts a pretty romantic figure what with his entire plot-line that I won’t spoil for you, but there are long stretches where he doesn’t do much but walk around and press buttons and call out military orders, you know?  Still though:

So say we all: YOWZA!

  • Pacey Witter, Dawson’s Creek – I mean, obviously.

Obviously

  •  Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars – Something about a bad boy with a vulnerable side. He started out as such an obnoxious asshole of a character and managed to turn into one of the most lovable and heartbreaking TV characters I have ever known.  I used to marvel at his face’s incredibly capacity for expressing emotions, particularly longing and pain.  Plus he’s very tall and broad and boy did he love Veronica.

Love the necklace, especially.

  • Mr. Bates, Downton Abbey – He’s not the best looking on this list, and yes, he’s a bit crippled (but as Anna says, “not very crippled”).  But ask yourself – did he kill his wife?  You know he didn’t, because he is the best man in the entire world, EVER.

Yeah, I went for it instead of a photograph.

  • Luke Danes, Gilmore Girls – Holy smokes, guys, I think we’ve just traced “my type” back to its origin.

I also like his personality, in case you were wondering.

  • Rupert Giles, Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Okay, okay, when I originally watched this show my crush was Xander and then Spike but honestly, I always knew that I found Giles sexy even when I was 15 years old.  He has a core of bad-ass and scholar, wrapped in a tweed waist-coat; the librarian in me swoons.

His nickname as a youthful miscreant was “Ripper” but now he is a school librarian!

  • Zach Morris – All those schemes and the ability to stop time and that blond blond hair.  Siiiiigh.

‘Sup, Preppy?

  • Eric Gotts, Wonderfalls – Mostly it’s just his face, but a little bit about how nice he is and what an amazingly, exceptionally good show Wonderfalls is.

Save him from her!

  • Ned the Pie Maker, Pushing Daisies – 1. He makes pies 2. He’s wonderful 3. He cannot touch people and it’s the saddest thing. 4. He makes pies.

Oh to be Lonely Tourist Charlotte Charles.

  • Cappie, Greek – My biggest EVER TV crush, did you know?  The “Rob Thomas hair” and the secret smarts and also he loves pie and I cannot do him justice in words, I’ve realized!  I include a Youtube clip of Cappie-lights, which doesn’t even come close to doing him justice either, but unless you go start watching Greek it is the best we’ve got.  Also, you should go start watching Greek.

Might I recommend a Cappie-cino?

So much to look forward to

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17-year-old-me: Umm…I think you meant “so much to which to look forward” right?

Me: Good god, quit!  Sometimes ending a sentence in a preposition isn’t all that painful, and sometimes it just sounds better, and sometimes it’s okay, even if it’s not technically right.  You really annoy me, you know that?  Especially because I am super jealous of you right now.

17-year-old Me: Is it because you think I am smarter, pretty,  more awesome and better at grammar than you and you’re just a boring almost-thirty-year-old?

Me: I think you are 17 and an idiot.

17-year-old-me: Then what?

Me: I’m jealous because you don’t have any idea about all the awesome entertainment that will be coming your way in the next ten years that you still get to experience for the first time.  Like Harry Potter!!!  I’d give anything to read Harry Potter again for the first time.

17-year-old-me:  I saw that book while I was babysitting – for children…because it’s a children‘s book.  When I go to college and onward, I have pretty serious plans to read pretty serious literature.  Are you joking with this Harry Potter stuff?

Me: OMG you just have no idea about anything!

17-year-old-me: What is “OMG”?

Me: OMG you don’t know OMG?  But I am a children‘s librarian, did you forget?  I pretty much only read books for children and teenagers now.  It’s amaaaah-zing.

17-year-old-me:  Why did you right “amazing” like “amaaaaaah-zing”?

Me: It’s from a show you’ll like called Happy Endings. It won’t be on for another eleven years.

17-year-old-me:  Okay, so what else?

Me: Well, you’ll discover YA literature, as discussed.   You’ll get to watch your first cycle of America’s Next Top Model  (you don’t even know how to SMIZE yet)…Veronica Mars season 1…The OC Season 1!  And Downton Abbey – you’ll even make the theme from that one your ringtone!

17-year-old Me: My “ringtone”?

Me: On your cellphone…people have cell phones in your world, you know…get with it.  Then, you still get to see Love Actually in the theater FOUR times.  You will cry very hard for the first 15 minutes of Up.  You will try so hard to figure out if Inception ends in a dream or in reality and you will never ever know!  And the first time you see a trailer for National Treasure?  You’re gonna plotz!  Oh man, plus you will get so excited when you find out that Johnny Depp will be in a pirate movie with ORLANDO BLOOM!

17 year-old Me: Who?

Me: You’ll get to discover ORLANDO BLOOM!  See?

FACT: you will one day cut out and fasten this very magazine page to a bulletin board in your dorm room!

17-year-old Me: Oooooohhhhh…

Me: Just wait till you see him as an elf.  Which means you’ll get to see Lord of the Rings!  And you’ll finally read Lord of the Rings and they are so good.

17-year-old Me: At least I’ve heard of that…

Me: You’ll get to see The Single Ladies [Put a Ring on It] music video and hear Regina Spektor sing Real Love and learn that Otis Redding’s These Arms of Mine is, like, the best song ever! OOHHH – you’ll discover Charlieissocoollike and Alex Day on Youtube!

 

17-year-old-me: Wait, what’s Youtube?

Me: OMG you don’t even have Youtube yet!!!  You are SO LUCKY!!  You’ll get to discover YOUTUBE!!!!  Christian the Lion – Krabstickz’ Nazi Gold – all those Dear Sister parodies -Honey Badger Don’t Care – The Bed Intruder – David After Dentist – Sassy Gay Friend – Charlie Bit Me – Kitty is a Bad Mystic – Twin Baby Boys Having a Conversation – Oo-de-Lally sung in every single language you can imagine!

17-year-old Me: Okay, you need to slow down a lit-

Me: BROTHERHOOD 2.0 HANK AND JOHN GREEN THE VLOGBROTHERS OMG THEY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!

17-year-old Me: You aren’t even making sense anymore.

ME: YOU WILL GET TO WATCH THE LAST FIVE FRAKKING MINUTES OF SEASON THREE OF BATTLESTAR GALACTICA AGAIN AND EXPERIENCE THE BEST FIVE FRAKKING MINUTES OF TELEVISION YOU HAVE EVER SEEN OR LIKELY WILL EVER SEE AGAIN!  YOU WILL START OUT NOT KNOWING WHO ANY OF THE CYLONS ARE!!!

17-year-old Me: QUIT IT!!!  Frakking?  Cylons?  You are frakking me out…whatever that means…but I think I probably used it right, right?

Me: Whoa.  Yeah, sorry about that.  I just…got carried away.  You have things to look forward to in the next decade, is what I am saying.

17-year-old Me: That is actually a really nice thing to hear.  I kind of want you to…calmly and less scarily…tell me more…

Me: SPOILERS!  Haha – get it? I mean, of course you don’t get it yet. “Hello Sweetie!!!”  Haha!  River Song!?!?!  Doctor Who!!  DALEKS!!!

17-year-old Me: You’re doing it again.

Me: Sorry!  I meant that I can’t tell you too much – it will spoil it all.  Here is a clip that helped inspire me to do this whole theme week; it also includes John Green who will change your life and the much discussed “Youtube” that you will so enjoy and Battlestar Frakking GalacticaYou only need to watch the first 15 seconds to get my point, unless you want to keep going just because it’s a good interesting video.

 

Pacey Witter: An Acrostic Poem in Rhyming Couplets (and one Triad)

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Perfect in every way? Maybe not but I love him

An underachiever, rife with vigor and vim

Constantly criticized by all, always making him weary

Even treated like crap by his “best friend” Dawson Leery

Yet he’s perceptive, loyal, and funny through the drama

Wit and kind heart unscathed by the trauma

In and out of relationships with girls who were crazy

Tamara Jacobs, his teacher then that Andie McPhee

That’s okay, because they lead him to his love, Joey Potter

(Even though Dawson tries to ruin it, that self-obsessed rotter)

Reunited in the finale because Pacey’s way hotter!

I remember everything…

(P.S. I wasn’t going to write anything else about how obnoxious Dawson is, but we’re 9 episodes into season 1 here at DC-Rewatching HQ and Joey has all but told Dawson that she loves him in an awkward scene of public crying during a Saturday detention, leaving out only the words “I LOVE YOU” to make the confession complete.  Following that she has since drunkenly kissed him and Pacey has explicitly stated to Dawson that Joey is “ass-backwards” in love with him and HE STILL DOESN’T REALIZE THAT JOEY  IS IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!  He. Is. The. Worst.)

 

Dawson: The Worst EVER

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I already talked about how much I hate Dawson.  It bears continued discussion, however, because of HOW MUCH I HATE DAWSON.

In the course of four episodes of Creek watched, I was driven to audible groans by Dawson quotes or behaviors no less than six times.  “UGGGRRRRGGHGHGH,” I cried, shaking a fist at the heavens, “Dawson, what’s WITH IT?”

He seriously never learns.  Knowing, as I do so well, where the next five and half seasons are going, it is even harder to watch Dawson’s whiny, self-centered, self-sabotaging, reality-denying behaviors than it ever was before.

Also this:

Cry

Yes, it never fails to bring a smile, cause a laugh, turn around an otherwise dismal day BUT when taken within the context of the show, is just a prime example of what an insufferable turd Dawson really is.

“You’re free, Joey.”

Oh, is she?  Thanks Dawson…you douche.

THE GOOD NEWS is that I love James Van Der Memes and the whole James Van Der Week that happened at Funny or Die, plus he is much handsomer as man than he was as a boy and I also hear that he is pretty entertaining on that show Don’t Trust the B, etc. even though I haven’t watched it yet.

So these things are helping me cope with then-Dawson as I re-watch the show.  This particular meme is great – it’s the “Katie Holmes Smile” (incidentally another thing about Dawson’s Creek that I hate):

Creek Week

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So Dawson’s Creek is streaming on Neflix.  FINALLY.

Okay, so, sure – I own my two favorite seasons and the series finale on DVD and I’ve seen the whole series way-more-times-than-once before. There is just something so enticing about any streaming TV series, and it has been a couple years since I have given the Creek the all-consuming attention it so richly deserves.

For a second I became possessed with the idea of using this website as naught but a vehicle to live-blog literally the ENTIRE SERIES.  I am still kind of drawn to that most-likely egregious idea, but I think instead I’ll just have the one Creek Week and be done with it.

Here are my thoughts on the pilot, though:

1 – SPIELBERG, Dawson?  Really?  Spielberg.  I mean, Jurassic Park is awesome, so’s Indiana J, but REALLY?  Really?  Spielberg.  Spielberg?  BOO.

2 – In a related note, Dawson’s just the worst.  His stupid smug-face, “Passion – pure unbridled passion”, his awful haircut and his lame-as-shit necklaces.  And don’t even get me started on his over-sized wardrobe and those heinous khakis.

3 – THIS SHOW IS TOTALLY MY ADOLESCENCE!

4 – Songs contained within this episode include Tub Thumping by Chumbawumba, As I Lay Me Down by Sophie B. Hawkins and I’ll Stand By You by the Pretenders.  Talk about preserving my 1990s in a 42 minute microcosm, eh?

5 – Jen Lindley, I did not give you any credit for being super-cool when I was 14- in fact, I kind of hated you and said mean things about you. I still feel incredibly bad about that, even though you are not and never have been a real person with feelings or consciousness.

6 – Tamaaaaaaara is like my least favorite character ever.  She cray-cray.

7 – Pacey, Pacey, Pacey, Pacey.

 

Seriously, Pacey.

That is all.

(Except for I am watching episode 2 and Dawson just said the phrase, “It will be a John Travolta night of interpretive expression.  You see, this way we can dance and our feet will never have to move,” with total earnestness and I HATE HIM.)