Did I fall asleep?


Here’s some free advice for you:

If you are a person who suffers from frequent, intense and incredibly realistic night-terror hallucinations in which you become convinced that people are somehow invading your bedroom and using technology to steal your life and/or control your mind, maybe don’t watch a whole bunch of episodes of the TV show Dollhouse right before you go to bed.

Dollhouse, in case you didn’t know, is a show in which technology is used to steal people’s lives and control their minds.  It is very good, actually – made by Joss Whedon, features Tahmoh Penikett: Handsomest Man Ever, has a slew of really excellent characters, makes me forget how much I cannot stand actress Eliza Dushku in most things – just all around top-notch storytelling, I say.

But seriously, man…I suffer from night terrors and have since way before I ever watched Dollhouse.  Not like wake up in another room holding a knife or scream my head of at 4 am or punch the person I’m sleeping next to night terrors.

I just sometimes wake up (or do I?  Am I actually just dreaming?) in the middle of the night, and believe that I see things (wires, cameras, other DEVICES) and feel things (like my soul being sucked out through my fingertips or my arms being controlled by outside forces) and I usually believe it to be my neighbors behind the plot and it scares me a lot.  I freak out, naturally, but I never get up or make noise.  I just wait a few minutes and my mind both clears and gets fuzzy; it returns to its regular, non-terrified state and I realize I’ve been having a night terror but the thing that had been terrifying me becomes very vague and difficult to remember.

Then I fall back asleep and that’s that.

[I was going to embed a video of one my most favorite television scenes involving night terrors, but it wouldn’t let me embed it, so click this link you and it will take you to one of my most favorite television scenes involving night terrors]

In the moment, I always really believe whatever thing is happening is real…so much so, that I sometimes kind of believe the whole situation is real when I am awake and talking about it.  It just seems like this happens an awful lot for it to not be real.  And I mean, pretty convenient that I never quite remember exactly what it was that I saw, you know?  A little too convenient…

Of course, I do realize that the nice PhD candidates who lived downstairs from me at my last apartment were not trying to use dark magic/surveillance cameras to steal my life force.  And while the elderly British mother-son duo who live in the adjacent apartment to me and smell like soy sauce may be hoarding stuff, I understand that they are certainly not feeding wires from their kitchen through my bedroom window to control my mind.

This is a problem for which I currently have no solution.  I’ve spent a lot of time moving furniture and decor in my bedroom(s) trying to blame the terrors on bad feng shui.  In my experience, good feng shui does help to ease the symptoms, but it has not been a total cure.  Truth is, when I feel stressed out about something my night terrors happen more often.  New school year, for example, combined with oh-so-many episodes of Dollhouse before beddy-bye, it’s just a recipe for disaster.

I will have to risk one more night of it because I have one more episode of Dollhouse left and I must know how it ends.

Not so handsome as Agent Paul Ballard [swoon], but Topher Brink here is my favorite.

Also, I meant to write about Good Stuff during Good Stuff Week, like Love and My Family and Streaming TV on Netflix.  Unfortunately, I am moving on to Back to School Week, which means Whatever I Feel Like Week, because going to back to school is hard.  But those are some examples of Good Stuff in my life, aight?


A Truth Universally Acknowledged


Happy Pride and Prejudice Week!

I have been trying to make my way through P&P on DVD for the last three nights, but I keep falling asleep.

It’s pretty pathetic, actually, because it isn’t even the kagillion-hour Firth I’m attempting, just the regular-feature-film-length Knightley.  Lately though (and maybe this is symptomatic of adulthood or maybe I have TV-induced narcolepsy) I cannot make it past five minutes of any TV or movie if I am laying down.

I’m hoping to make it all the way tonight.  To “I love…I love…I love you” and beyond.

Since all this Pride and Prejudice has been getting subliminally pumped into my brain right as I have been right on the edge of dreamland, the story has been very seriously on my mind lately.   Hence its place as my theme this week.

Now, on the subject of Pride and Prejudice: is it my favorite Austen?

Officially, no.

Persuasion is so romantic, what with with all its seasides, yearning, and sexy love-letter-writing.  I can relate to Anne Elliot, who’s a bit of an old maid at 27; I live in constant fear of Losing my Bloom.  It also happens to be (I am pretty sure) the shortest Austen.

These factors combine to make it totes my fave.

At the same time, Persuasion has nothing like the cult surrounding Pride and Prejudice.  No satisfactory film versions have been made of it, nor has it been retold in a million modern versions the way P&P has been.

(I mean Prada and Prejudice and Prom and Prejudice are both things that happened, after all)

No other Austen can beat Pride and Prejudice in terms of participation in a fandom, and for that reason it will always remain my sentimental favorite, if not my “I like the book best” favorite.

Now that you know that important bit of information, I better wrap this up.  I will fall asleep before Lady Catherine de Bourgh can utter a single THUS if I do not get this show on the road.  Look forward to more P&P-cult-fandom type nonsense in the days to come though!  I’m EXCITED!


Niki’s Bedroom Floor Plans: A History: Chapter 1: Bad Energy


Overwhelming public opinion dictates that the theme of the coming week shall be Niki’s Bedroom Floor Plans: A History.

(“Overwhelming public opinion” in this case refers to 100% of respondents to my recent poll – 100% of 4 people agreed, although one of those people was me…)

Moving on…

My bedroom is quite small.

It has no closet, a slanty ceiling/wall and a small but theoretically usable alcove that is made mostly unusable by the encroachment of four inches of heating vent on each side.  The only furnitures I have in the room are my bed, a book case (there used to be two, but you’ll learn all about that), a side table and a wooden dining chair that I use(d) like a nightstand.  I keep my clothes in a closet across the hall, which has shelves in it that act as a bureau- the only drawback of this system is that sometimes I walk around with no pants or clothes, and sometimes my sister has people over to our apartment and I get trapped ten feet down a now-public hallway from all my clothes.  This is a rare occurrence, however, so I do not resent my lack of closet or chest of drawers.

So the challenges of my bedroom stand thus: the restrictive size, the abnormal shape, the lack of access to the circulating air which comes from the one and only window nestled deep in the unusable alcove, and my tendency toward night terrors, which I (perhaps wrongly) attribute to environmental causes related to the arrangement of my furniture (and occasionally the color of my sheets.)

Floor Plan 1: Bad Energy

Sheet Color: dark purple

Lasted: 1 night

When I first arranged my bedroom, I did not have the book case or the side table – only a bed and the chair.  I ended up with a plan that looked like this on my first night in the apartment:

sparse. stupid.

It was an awful, awful, awful, awful night of sleep.

Never mind that it was my first night of sleep in a new apartment that was mostly empty and spooky and unfurnished.  I blamed my bad sleep and nightmares on the fact that my bed (and therefore my feet) were facing the window, and this is apparently very bad feng shui, as it causes you to absorb all the bad energy that flows from the outside in through the window.

i just absorbed it all, man.

It did not yet occur to me to question the placement of my wall art or the color of my sheets, but (spoiler alert!) these things will come into play in later chapters throughout the week as I continue to be plagued by mild, terror-inducing, sleepy-time hallucinations.

Back at the beginning of things, I went about changing the floor plan immediately, and acquiring additional furniture items.

The End of Chapter 1.

Look forward in the coming week to the follow installments in the series:

  • Chapter 2: Stiflingly Airless
  • Chapter 3: Desperate Times
  • Chapter 4: Resignation
  • Chapter 5: Important Cosmetic Changes
  • Chapter 6: The Final Chapter (I hope)