Did I fall asleep?

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Here’s some free advice for you:

If you are a person who suffers from frequent, intense and incredibly realistic night-terror hallucinations in which you become convinced that people are somehow invading your bedroom and using technology to steal your life and/or control your mind, maybe don’t watch a whole bunch of episodes of the TV show Dollhouse right before you go to bed.

Dollhouse, in case you didn’t know, is a show in which technology is used to steal people’s lives and control their minds.  It is very good, actually – made by Joss Whedon, features Tahmoh Penikett: Handsomest Man Ever, has a slew of really excellent characters, makes me forget how much I cannot stand actress Eliza Dushku in most things – just all around top-notch storytelling, I say.

But seriously, man…I suffer from night terrors and have since way before I ever watched Dollhouse.  Not like wake up in another room holding a knife or scream my head of at 4 am or punch the person I’m sleeping next to night terrors.

I just sometimes wake up (or do I?  Am I actually just dreaming?) in the middle of the night, and believe that I see things (wires, cameras, other DEVICES) and feel things (like my soul being sucked out through my fingertips or my arms being controlled by outside forces) and I usually believe it to be my neighbors behind the plot and it scares me a lot.  I freak out, naturally, but I never get up or make noise.  I just wait a few minutes and my mind both clears and gets fuzzy; it returns to its regular, non-terrified state and I realize I’ve been having a night terror but the thing that had been terrifying me becomes very vague and difficult to remember.

Then I fall back asleep and that’s that.

[I was going to embed a video of one my most favorite television scenes involving night terrors, but it wouldn’t let me embed it, so click this link you and it will take you to one of my most favorite television scenes involving night terrors]

In the moment, I always really believe whatever thing is happening is real…so much so, that I sometimes kind of believe the whole situation is real when I am awake and talking about it.  It just seems like this happens an awful lot for it to not be real.  And I mean, pretty convenient that I never quite remember exactly what it was that I saw, you know?  A little too convenient…

Of course, I do realize that the nice PhD candidates who lived downstairs from me at my last apartment were not trying to use dark magic/surveillance cameras to steal my life force.  And while the elderly British mother-son duo who live in the adjacent apartment to me and smell like soy sauce may be hoarding stuff, I understand that they are certainly not feeding wires from their kitchen through my bedroom window to control my mind.

This is a problem for which I currently have no solution.  I’ve spent a lot of time moving furniture and decor in my bedroom(s) trying to blame the terrors on bad feng shui.  In my experience, good feng shui does help to ease the symptoms, but it has not been a total cure.  Truth is, when I feel stressed out about something my night terrors happen more often.  New school year, for example, combined with oh-so-many episodes of Dollhouse before beddy-bye, it’s just a recipe for disaster.

I will have to risk one more night of it because I have one more episode of Dollhouse left and I must know how it ends.

Not so handsome as Agent Paul Ballard [swoon], but Topher Brink here is my favorite.

Also, I meant to write about Good Stuff during Good Stuff Week, like Love and My Family and Streaming TV on Netflix.  Unfortunately, I am moving on to Back to School Week, which means Whatever I Feel Like Week, because going to back to school is hard.  But those are some examples of Good Stuff in my life, aight?

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Fandom!

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Fans of the television show Star Trek are called Trekkers.  Don’t call them Trekkies, unless you want to come across like some super-lame nerd-philistine.

“Trekkers are the most enduring and famous fan base with a name” is a fact.  Okay, not an actual fact…but I imagine it is probably true.  And though I am not a Trekker, I have certainly toyed with going back and watching the show…pretty much just because I really like participating in Fandoms.

I have realized as an adult that not everyone becomes a FAN of things the way I do.  They don’t buy sonic screw drivers and fezzes, paint glitter Daleks, make countless iron-on-transfer t-shirts about Ron Weasley, have the words “Winter is Coming” on their desktop background, worry that they may actually be a Cylon, or put Nerf Herder on every single work-out mix they’ve ever made.

I really particularly like it when fan bases have a name.  I like being able to declare that I am a “________”, even if I am only a casual one.  TV shows (Gleeks), musicians (Fanilows), movies (Achievers, which are fans of Big Lebowski apparently), books (Twi-hards) all have fandoms.

I self-identify with none of those listed, FYI.

I do, however, self-identify with some others.  For example, I am a:

  • Whovian

I don’t actually have my certification.

  • Scooby:
buffy scoobies Buffy Scooby Gang T Shirt

That’s a Buffy Fan

  • Browncoat

Firefly. Seriously Whedon Fans really like to organize.

  • Nerdfighter

Youtube Vloggers Hank and John Green and their online community

  • Sportsracer

Ze Frank, GENIUS

Still – so many of the shows, movies, books that I love the most do not have universally-agreed-upon fandom names. In my research, I found this comic strip, with which I very much identified:

Srsly, man- what ARE they called?

Apparently some people called Harry Potter fans “Potterheads” which I think is a straight-up dumb name, and it certainly doesn’t span the fan population.  I’d rather be a part of Dumbledore’s Army or some other name that is better than that, because that’s not very good either.

Of course, lack of a name is not going to stop me from participating in a Fandom because it’s only like, my favorite thing to do.  I have a suspicion that as long as there are new nerdy shows and movies and musicians and books, I’ll still be inspired to be a FAN.

Get it?!?!? If not, we can’t be friends any more.