my heart going boom boom boom

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At this point I think it’s obvious, but Fictional Crushes Week is actually going to be Fictional Crushes Two Weeks, because I quit blogging halfway through last week for no reason at all.  Literally no reason – it’s not like I do anything with my time these days besides absolutely nothing.

Today is going to be Fictional Crushes: BOOKS.

Book crushes are tricky, because I want to share images of these guys but it turns out that none of them will be from picture books so I find myself with a problem.  I’ve decided the solution is to use a mix of fan art (YES THAT’S RIGHT! Gird yourselves for some serious manga-inspired drawings, friends) and where that doesn’t work, pictures of celebrities culled from my imaginary casting couch.

Also fair warning – probably most or all of these will be teenagers.  Maybe you will think that is weird of me, but at least some of the crushes come from when I was a teenager and anyway, I don’t read books with characters older than 20 so…yeah.

My Biggest Literary Character Crushes!!!

  • Atreyu, The Neverending Story – The hugeness of the 13-year-old me’s crush on Atreyu (and I tell you it was HUGE) sort of freaks me out – it probably bordered on genuine insanity, but at I guess if it helped me cope with the torment that was middle school it’s okay?   Atreyu is still a very appealing figure to me (aged in my mind to 28, since we were the same age in 1997 after all) – stoic, brave, loyal, tough, nature-oriented, into saving the environment.  The movie did not do him justice, because he is supposed to be green.  Literally, green.

This fan art-er gets it.

  • Cornelius “Neely” Nolan, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – This book is set in early 20th century Brooklyn, and Neely is attired according to the times.  I will be frank: this is how I pictured Neely Nolan and this is why I had a giant crush on him when I read this book even though he’s not a hugely developed character:

Santa Fe, are you there?

  • Nathaniel Eaton, The Witch of Blackbird Pond – First of all, he is described as tall, wiry and blond which was about all it took for me to have a crush on someone when I was 13.  Plus he is funny and friendly and incredibly dependable, and I love how, as a sailor, he exists outside the Puritanical social structures that sometimes make young adult love stories set in pre-Revolutionary New England so unsatisfying (I’m talking to you, Bridie of the Wild Rose Inn by Jennifer Armstrong).  Also he is hard to find a picture of, since there are no fan arts and googling “cute blond colonial man” gave me nothing (I genuinely tried that).  You must therefore picture him as some combination of Heath Ledger in The Patriot and Ryan Gosling as Young Hercules.

Mostly Gosling, with the outfit on Ledger

  • Peeta Mellark, The Hunger Games – I love how he retained such a genuine sweetness in the midst of such a brutal world, but he did it without seeming like a naive fool.  That is a difficult line to walk and the boy with the bread does it perfectly.

hehehe. so cute, the boy with the bread.

  • Captain Wentworth, Persuasion – An adult at last and another sea-faring man!  I quote for you: “You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope.”  I mean, sigh, am I right?

Even after Anne lost her bloom…

Also, it bears mentioning that I designed that Captain Wentworth using THIS REGENCY HERO DRESS UP DOLL interactive thing and it was the single funnest ten minutes I’ve spent in awhile.  (Sad life?)

  • Ron Weasley, Harry Potter – I cannot really put why I love Ron so much into words.  He uses inappropriate humor to try to diffuse tense situations and he’s always eating, which are things I like.  He’s funny and for the most part he is incredibly loyal and I love a ginger and I dunno what it is, but my collection of homemade Ron Weasley t-shirts are certainly a testament to the fact that this crush is for real.  (p.s. SO MANY Ron Weasley fan arts to choose from!!!)

I picked this because it’s one of my favorite small moments!

  • Sean Kendrick, The Scorpio Races – Sean Kendrick is 19, which feels very significantly less weird than having a crush on someone who is 16 especially since he is frequently described as “the oldest 19 year old” anyone in the story seems to have ever met.  He cuts a very romantic figure – all sharp features, strong and silent, with “one foot on land and another in the sea” (I seem to really have a thing for sea-faring men, yeah?) and he is very talented at riding the horse-monsters, which is what this book is about.  READ IT because it is totally good.  Also, I cannot help but picture Sean Kendrick in an Irish fisherman’s sweater, which is one of my favorite ways to picture men.

This is a fair-ish representation of the Sean Kendrick in my head, but for the preternaturally long neck.

  • Eugenides (“Gen”) – The Thief, The Queen of Attolia, etc. – Gen is a mix of humor, intensity, and cleverness.  He is deeply flawed and yet completely winsome.  He is written and developed BRILLIANTLY by Megan Whalen Turner throughout the series of books that may just be my favorite books of all time.  There are things I want to say about Gen that would be too spoiler-y, so just trust me that he’s the greatest and then go on and read those books yourself because did I mention that they are possibly my favorite books of all time?

Favorite. Books. Ever. Maybe.

You know when you’re like, wait, it’s after 2:00 PM right now?!?  And you realize that literally all you’ve done today is write this ridiculous blog post, brew and drink a cup of coffee and try on all your clothes?

That’s when you know it’s time for a burrito.  And also maybe a shower.

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So much to look forward to

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17-year-old-me: Umm…I think you meant “so much to which to look forward” right?

Me: Good god, quit!  Sometimes ending a sentence in a preposition isn’t all that painful, and sometimes it just sounds better, and sometimes it’s okay, even if it’s not technically right.  You really annoy me, you know that?  Especially because I am super jealous of you right now.

17-year-old Me: Is it because you think I am smarter, pretty,  more awesome and better at grammar than you and you’re just a boring almost-thirty-year-old?

Me: I think you are 17 and an idiot.

17-year-old-me: Then what?

Me: I’m jealous because you don’t have any idea about all the awesome entertainment that will be coming your way in the next ten years that you still get to experience for the first time.  Like Harry Potter!!!  I’d give anything to read Harry Potter again for the first time.

17-year-old-me:  I saw that book while I was babysitting – for children…because it’s a children‘s book.  When I go to college and onward, I have pretty serious plans to read pretty serious literature.  Are you joking with this Harry Potter stuff?

Me: OMG you just have no idea about anything!

17-year-old-me: What is “OMG”?

Me: OMG you don’t know OMG?  But I am a children‘s librarian, did you forget?  I pretty much only read books for children and teenagers now.  It’s amaaaah-zing.

17-year-old-me:  Why did you right “amazing” like “amaaaaaah-zing”?

Me: It’s from a show you’ll like called Happy Endings. It won’t be on for another eleven years.

17-year-old-me:  Okay, so what else?

Me: Well, you’ll discover YA literature, as discussed.   You’ll get to watch your first cycle of America’s Next Top Model  (you don’t even know how to SMIZE yet)…Veronica Mars season 1…The OC Season 1!  And Downton Abbey – you’ll even make the theme from that one your ringtone!

17-year-old Me: My “ringtone”?

Me: On your cellphone…people have cell phones in your world, you know…get with it.  Then, you still get to see Love Actually in the theater FOUR times.  You will cry very hard for the first 15 minutes of Up.  You will try so hard to figure out if Inception ends in a dream or in reality and you will never ever know!  And the first time you see a trailer for National Treasure?  You’re gonna plotz!  Oh man, plus you will get so excited when you find out that Johnny Depp will be in a pirate movie with ORLANDO BLOOM!

17 year-old Me: Who?

Me: You’ll get to discover ORLANDO BLOOM!  See?

FACT: you will one day cut out and fasten this very magazine page to a bulletin board in your dorm room!

17-year-old Me: Oooooohhhhh…

Me: Just wait till you see him as an elf.  Which means you’ll get to see Lord of the Rings!  And you’ll finally read Lord of the Rings and they are so good.

17-year-old Me: At least I’ve heard of that…

Me: You’ll get to see The Single Ladies [Put a Ring on It] music video and hear Regina Spektor sing Real Love and learn that Otis Redding’s These Arms of Mine is, like, the best song ever! OOHHH – you’ll discover Charlieissocoollike and Alex Day on Youtube!

 

17-year-old-me: Wait, what’s Youtube?

Me: OMG you don’t even have Youtube yet!!!  You are SO LUCKY!!  You’ll get to discover YOUTUBE!!!!  Christian the Lion – Krabstickz’ Nazi Gold – all those Dear Sister parodies -Honey Badger Don’t Care – The Bed Intruder – David After Dentist – Sassy Gay Friend – Charlie Bit Me – Kitty is a Bad Mystic – Twin Baby Boys Having a Conversation – Oo-de-Lally sung in every single language you can imagine!

17-year-old Me: Okay, you need to slow down a lit-

Me: BROTHERHOOD 2.0 HANK AND JOHN GREEN THE VLOGBROTHERS OMG THEY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!

17-year-old Me: You aren’t even making sense anymore.

ME: YOU WILL GET TO WATCH THE LAST FIVE FRAKKING MINUTES OF SEASON THREE OF BATTLESTAR GALACTICA AGAIN AND EXPERIENCE THE BEST FIVE FRAKKING MINUTES OF TELEVISION YOU HAVE EVER SEEN OR LIKELY WILL EVER SEE AGAIN!  YOU WILL START OUT NOT KNOWING WHO ANY OF THE CYLONS ARE!!!

17-year-old Me: QUIT IT!!!  Frakking?  Cylons?  You are frakking me out…whatever that means…but I think I probably used it right, right?

Me: Whoa.  Yeah, sorry about that.  I just…got carried away.  You have things to look forward to in the next decade, is what I am saying.

17-year-old Me: That is actually a really nice thing to hear.  I kind of want you to…calmly and less scarily…tell me more…

Me: SPOILERS!  Haha – get it? I mean, of course you don’t get it yet. “Hello Sweetie!!!”  Haha!  River Song!?!?!  Doctor Who!!  DALEKS!!!

17-year-old Me: You’re doing it again.

Me: Sorry!  I meant that I can’t tell you too much – it will spoil it all.  Here is a clip that helped inspire me to do this whole theme week; it also includes John Green who will change your life and the much discussed “Youtube” that you will so enjoy and Battlestar Frakking GalacticaYou only need to watch the first 15 seconds to get my point, unless you want to keep going just because it’s a good interesting video.

 

Rootbeer Float and Harry Potter

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I am going to write a blog post from my iPhone because some dummy didn’t set up internet in her new place yet.  Being rather bad at using the small onscreen keyboard – curse mine clumsy fingers- I anticipate that this will not go smoothly.

So first I have to pledge my undying gratitude to My Sister, Her Boyfriend, My BFF and My BFFiance ( as he shall henceforth be known) for helping me move my furniture.  I have furniture in my new apartment now; I quite like furniture, and therefore owe a great debt to those named (or not named, as it were) above.

To christen my first night here, I decided to have a Rootbeer float, which was also the first thing I ate when I moved into The Burrow.  I shall always have Rootbeer floats to start my life in a new place!

I am also watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II. My emotional reaction to the move has been made evident by my overly emotional reaction to the movie.  *SOB* HARRY IS SO BRAVE OMG OMG *SOB* and so on…

Also I have decided to name my new apartment after another Harry Potter place.  Suggestions?  I am leaning toward one, but I’d like to hear ideas first before I finalize anything.

And now my autocorrect is making increasingly more erratic and nonsensical changes and I am about to chuck my iPhone out one of my 8 gorgeous windows.  Remember: HP place name ideas in comments!

 

Fandom!

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Fans of the television show Star Trek are called Trekkers.  Don’t call them Trekkies, unless you want to come across like some super-lame nerd-philistine.

“Trekkers are the most enduring and famous fan base with a name” is a fact.  Okay, not an actual fact…but I imagine it is probably true.  And though I am not a Trekker, I have certainly toyed with going back and watching the show…pretty much just because I really like participating in Fandoms.

I have realized as an adult that not everyone becomes a FAN of things the way I do.  They don’t buy sonic screw drivers and fezzes, paint glitter Daleks, make countless iron-on-transfer t-shirts about Ron Weasley, have the words “Winter is Coming” on their desktop background, worry that they may actually be a Cylon, or put Nerf Herder on every single work-out mix they’ve ever made.

I really particularly like it when fan bases have a name.  I like being able to declare that I am a “________”, even if I am only a casual one.  TV shows (Gleeks), musicians (Fanilows), movies (Achievers, which are fans of Big Lebowski apparently), books (Twi-hards) all have fandoms.

I self-identify with none of those listed, FYI.

I do, however, self-identify with some others.  For example, I am a:

  • Whovian

I don’t actually have my certification.

  • Scooby:
buffy scoobies Buffy Scooby Gang T Shirt

That’s a Buffy Fan

  • Browncoat

Firefly. Seriously Whedon Fans really like to organize.

  • Nerdfighter

Youtube Vloggers Hank and John Green and their online community

  • Sportsracer

Ze Frank, GENIUS

Still – so many of the shows, movies, books that I love the most do not have universally-agreed-upon fandom names. In my research, I found this comic strip, with which I very much identified:

Srsly, man- what ARE they called?

Apparently some people called Harry Potter fans “Potterheads” which I think is a straight-up dumb name, and it certainly doesn’t span the fan population.  I’d rather be a part of Dumbledore’s Army or some other name that is better than that, because that’s not very good either.

Of course, lack of a name is not going to stop me from participating in a Fandom because it’s only like, my favorite thing to do.  I have a suspicion that as long as there are new nerdy shows and movies and musicians and books, I’ll still be inspired to be a FAN.

Get it?!?!? If not, we can’t be friends any more.

I mixed up all this fake puke at home…

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Confession: I HAVE LYME DISEASE!

Well, that is not exactly a confession and I very well may not have Lyme disease at all.  But I found a tick on my tummy which I had left to feast on me for FOUR DAYS because I had mistaken it for a beauty mark (or mole, or whatever we are calling those little brown spots I have scattered across my arms, mid-section and a little bit on my legs these days) until today when I was like, “You know, this guy is new I don’t think I’ve seen it bef- OH MY GOD IT HAS LEGS!!!!”

Gross.

Annnyway.  Rapid-fire confessions because today is going to be the final day of Confessions (Half-of-a) Week:

Confession: Hey Soul Sister by Train is a song that I like.  I like it.  There.

Confession: I used to read Harry Potter fan fiction.  Like LOTS of it, but only stories in which Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley fall in love and/or get it on.  May I suggest The Fire and Ice Archive for all your D/G shipping needs?

That is probably the only confession I feel truly embarrassed to make.

Although I still really like the Fan-Art banner across the top of the Fire and Ice Archive.

Confession: Once I visited a certain famous historic town in Massachusetts and knocked over the street sign for a street named after a very famous American author with my Volvo and I just kept driving because I couldn’t afford to pay a fine.

This may or may not be a portrait of the author whose eponymous street sign I may or may not have destroyed.

Confession: When I sweep my floors, if there are coins in the mess I can never be bothered to fish them out.  This means I have probably thrown out god knows how many dollars worth of change in my life all because I don’t feel like bending over.  Good news is that I don’t sweep my floors very often!  Also, quarters are an exception to this.

Confession: The other night I put on High School Musical on Netflix for background noise while I read a book, but then I did not even read a single page of my book and just watched High School Musical.

I’d also like to add that High School Musical is a good movie.  Also Zac Efron is totally DREAMY.  Also I still cannot believe how totally bullshit it is that Troy and Gabriella never even kiss!!!

Confession: After I was done with High School Musical, I put on High School Musical 2 and fast forwarded to the part where Troy and Gabriella finally get their kiss.  Yes, I did.

Do you have any confessions you like to share?  I’d like to hear them if you do!

And finally: