Chapter 2: Stiflingly Airless and Chapter 3: Desperate Times


Oh yeah, my lazy ass is still committed to this theme.  Welcome to Niki’s Bedroom Floor Plans: A History 2, this time with actual posts!

Floor Plan 2: Stiflingly Airless

Sheet color:dark purple, gray, white

Lasted: approximately 7 months (less one month in the middle)

After my debacle-y first night of sleep with the bad energy and the awful feng shui, I got some book cases and then moved my furniture to look like this:

it made sense to me at the time

I think I chose this set-up because it was the only way to get a truly unobstructed path to the window, which was something I felt was really very important.  Plus my childhood bedroom had a slanty ceiling over the headboard of my childhood bed, so this felt very natural to me.

I also quite early on bought a new set of sheets in gray, after deciding that for sure dark sheets gave me nightmares.  I mean, the evil spirits were trying to STEAL MY ENERGY when I slept on the purple sheets – I had to do something about it.

Things went okay for a little while, but this furniture arrangement happened in the middle of the summer when it was very, very hot out.  The floor plan reacted to the summer weather, unfortunately, like this:

do you SEE that cloud?

Each night as I tried to sleep, the cool breeze would sail right by me, leaving my sad little corner of the room completely untouched by anything resembling circulating air.  I was literally whimpering with discomfort by mid-July…

…which brings us to…

Floor Plan 3: Desperate Times

Sheet Color:gray, white

Lasted: 1 month

One hot night just before bed (in a desperate, feverish state) I did this with my furniture:

silliest but most satisfying set-up yet

I kept my furniture this way for about a month – during the hottest time of the summer.  It was super impractical because you actually couldn’t get to the window AT ALL except by climbing over the bed, but still I was as close to the air from the window as this bedroom would allow.

Plus I got white sheets – even lighter than gray! – to minimize the effect of evil spirits on my dream-state.

When the air cooled at the end of the summer, I kept the white sheets and then returned my bed to Position #2 for until Christmas-time.

More on that in Chapter 4.  Coming soon.


Niki’s Bedroom Floor Plans: A History: Chapter 1: Bad Energy


Overwhelming public opinion dictates that the theme of the coming week shall be Niki’s Bedroom Floor Plans: A History.

(“Overwhelming public opinion” in this case refers to 100% of respondents to my recent poll – 100% of 4 people agreed, although one of those people was me…)

Moving on…

My bedroom is quite small.

It has no closet, a slanty ceiling/wall and a small but theoretically usable alcove that is made mostly unusable by the encroachment of four inches of heating vent on each side.  The only furnitures I have in the room are my bed, a book case (there used to be two, but you’ll learn all about that), a side table and a wooden dining chair that I use(d) like a nightstand.  I keep my clothes in a closet across the hall, which has shelves in it that act as a bureau- the only drawback of this system is that sometimes I walk around with no pants or clothes, and sometimes my sister has people over to our apartment and I get trapped ten feet down a now-public hallway from all my clothes.  This is a rare occurrence, however, so I do not resent my lack of closet or chest of drawers.

So the challenges of my bedroom stand thus: the restrictive size, the abnormal shape, the lack of access to the circulating air which comes from the one and only window nestled deep in the unusable alcove, and my tendency toward night terrors, which I (perhaps wrongly) attribute to environmental causes related to the arrangement of my furniture (and occasionally the color of my sheets.)

Floor Plan 1: Bad Energy

Sheet Color: dark purple

Lasted: 1 night

When I first arranged my bedroom, I did not have the book case or the side table – only a bed and the chair.  I ended up with a plan that looked like this on my first night in the apartment:

sparse. stupid.

It was an awful, awful, awful, awful night of sleep.

Never mind that it was my first night of sleep in a new apartment that was mostly empty and spooky and unfurnished.  I blamed my bad sleep and nightmares on the fact that my bed (and therefore my feet) were facing the window, and this is apparently very bad feng shui, as it causes you to absorb all the bad energy that flows from the outside in through the window.

i just absorbed it all, man.

It did not yet occur to me to question the placement of my wall art or the color of my sheets, but (spoiler alert!) these things will come into play in later chapters throughout the week as I continue to be plagued by mild, terror-inducing, sleepy-time hallucinations.

Back at the beginning of things, I went about changing the floor plan immediately, and acquiring additional furniture items.

The End of Chapter 1.

Look forward in the coming week to the follow installments in the series:

  • Chapter 2: Stiflingly Airless
  • Chapter 3: Desperate Times
  • Chapter 4: Resignation
  • Chapter 5: Important Cosmetic Changes
  • Chapter 6: The Final Chapter (I hope)