So much to look forward to

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17-year-old-me: Umm…I think you meant “so much to which to look forward” right?

Me: Good god, quit!  Sometimes ending a sentence in a preposition isn’t all that painful, and sometimes it just sounds better, and sometimes it’s okay, even if it’s not technically right.  You really annoy me, you know that?  Especially because I am super jealous of you right now.

17-year-old Me: Is it because you think I am smarter, pretty,  more awesome and better at grammar than you and you’re just a boring almost-thirty-year-old?

Me: I think you are 17 and an idiot.

17-year-old-me: Then what?

Me: I’m jealous because you don’t have any idea about all the awesome entertainment that will be coming your way in the next ten years that you still get to experience for the first time.  Like Harry Potter!!!  I’d give anything to read Harry Potter again for the first time.

17-year-old-me:  I saw that book while I was babysitting – for children…because it’s a children‘s book.  When I go to college and onward, I have pretty serious plans to read pretty serious literature.  Are you joking with this Harry Potter stuff?

Me: OMG you just have no idea about anything!

17-year-old-me: What is “OMG”?

Me: OMG you don’t know OMG?  But I am a children‘s librarian, did you forget?  I pretty much only read books for children and teenagers now.  It’s amaaaah-zing.

17-year-old-me:  Why did you right “amazing” like “amaaaaaah-zing”?

Me: It’s from a show you’ll like called Happy Endings. It won’t be on for another eleven years.

17-year-old-me:  Okay, so what else?

Me: Well, you’ll discover YA literature, as discussed.   You’ll get to watch your first cycle of America’s Next Top Model  (you don’t even know how to SMIZE yet)…Veronica Mars season 1…The OC Season 1!  And Downton Abbey – you’ll even make the theme from that one your ringtone!

17-year-old Me: My “ringtone”?

Me: On your cellphone…people have cell phones in your world, you know…get with it.  Then, you still get to see Love Actually in the theater FOUR times.  You will cry very hard for the first 15 minutes of Up.  You will try so hard to figure out if Inception ends in a dream or in reality and you will never ever know!  And the first time you see a trailer for National Treasure?  You’re gonna plotz!  Oh man, plus you will get so excited when you find out that Johnny Depp will be in a pirate movie with ORLANDO BLOOM!

17 year-old Me: Who?

Me: You’ll get to discover ORLANDO BLOOM!  See?

FACT: you will one day cut out and fasten this very magazine page to a bulletin board in your dorm room!

17-year-old Me: Oooooohhhhh…

Me: Just wait till you see him as an elf.  Which means you’ll get to see Lord of the Rings!  And you’ll finally read Lord of the Rings and they are so good.

17-year-old Me: At least I’ve heard of that…

Me: You’ll get to see The Single Ladies [Put a Ring on It] music video and hear Regina Spektor sing Real Love and learn that Otis Redding’s These Arms of Mine is, like, the best song ever! OOHHH – you’ll discover Charlieissocoollike and Alex Day on Youtube!

 

17-year-old-me: Wait, what’s Youtube?

Me: OMG you don’t even have Youtube yet!!!  You are SO LUCKY!!  You’ll get to discover YOUTUBE!!!!  Christian the Lion – Krabstickz’ Nazi Gold – all those Dear Sister parodies -Honey Badger Don’t Care – The Bed Intruder – David After Dentist – Sassy Gay Friend – Charlie Bit Me – Kitty is a Bad Mystic – Twin Baby Boys Having a Conversation – Oo-de-Lally sung in every single language you can imagine!

17-year-old Me: Okay, you need to slow down a lit-

Me: BROTHERHOOD 2.0 HANK AND JOHN GREEN THE VLOGBROTHERS OMG THEY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!

17-year-old Me: You aren’t even making sense anymore.

ME: YOU WILL GET TO WATCH THE LAST FIVE FRAKKING MINUTES OF SEASON THREE OF BATTLESTAR GALACTICA AGAIN AND EXPERIENCE THE BEST FIVE FRAKKING MINUTES OF TELEVISION YOU HAVE EVER SEEN OR LIKELY WILL EVER SEE AGAIN!  YOU WILL START OUT NOT KNOWING WHO ANY OF THE CYLONS ARE!!!

17-year-old Me: QUIT IT!!!  Frakking?  Cylons?  You are frakking me out…whatever that means…but I think I probably used it right, right?

Me: Whoa.  Yeah, sorry about that.  I just…got carried away.  You have things to look forward to in the next decade, is what I am saying.

17-year-old Me: That is actually a really nice thing to hear.  I kind of want you to…calmly and less scarily…tell me more…

Me: SPOILERS!  Haha – get it? I mean, of course you don’t get it yet. “Hello Sweetie!!!”  Haha!  River Song!?!?!  Doctor Who!!  DALEKS!!!

17-year-old Me: You’re doing it again.

Me: Sorry!  I meant that I can’t tell you too much – it will spoil it all.  Here is a clip that helped inspire me to do this whole theme week; it also includes John Green who will change your life and the much discussed “Youtube” that you will so enjoy and Battlestar Frakking GalacticaYou only need to watch the first 15 seconds to get my point, unless you want to keep going just because it’s a good interesting video.

 

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On Bearded Men and Wheaten Terriers

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At present my faithful readers number in the low dozens.  I would like to try to increase that number and I have devised a strategy that I think is certain to succeed.  It is:

Henceforth, I will post exclusively about Wheaten Terriers and Handsome Men with Beards.

Apart from the fact that I really do love wheaten terriers and handsome men with beards, my decision comes from solid logical reasoning and cold hard facts.

cold hard PUPPY facts!!!

See, I get a steady stream of readers ranging in number from 5 to 30 per day who read old posts that I have written.  According to my site statistics, which are pretty detailed, these far-flung mystery readers pretty much only read two posts: Wesley Crusher, the Wheaten Terrier which I wrote for Pretend Puppy Week back in August and Men with Beards which I wrote for Things That Happen in November Week back in November.

Seriously, those two months-old musings were my two most-viewed posts this week, with more total views than all of my brand new posts combined.  Strangers care more about seeing Jon Hamm with a beard and about the imaginary dog I invented to go along with the imaginary life in England with my imaginary husband Charlieissocoollike than my actual friends care about the rest of my thoughts on life.

Not that I blame anyone involved at all: Jon Hamm and Wesley Crusher the pretend wheaten terrier are more handsome/adorable than my thoughts on life are interesting.

Surely, then, the path to world-wide blogging fame lies with wheaten terriers and men with beards.  Probably I will only post about them for one week, unless the thing really takes off…which less face it, it probably will.

Welcome to Wheatens n’ Beards Week!

I am more proud to have made this than you will ever know.

 

 

WEATHER!!

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So many things about today were pleasant, it’s difficult to know where to begin.

Which is false –  it is actually quite easy to know where to begin since most of the pleasantness springs from one simple thing: THE WEATHER!

It has finally happened, friends.  The shift from that soul sucking end-of-summer lingering, yet unwanted hot/humid weather to that gorgeous, sparkling, joyous, crisp, cool, sunny fall stuff that I love so much.  I genuinely believe that my body and soul draw power from lovely autumnal weather much as Superman draws his strength from the sun.

Because of the weather, I had a lovely time working the farmer’s market this morning despite dismal sales.  I saw about ten kagillion of my students there since I do the market in the town where I work.  Oftentimes I do not enjoy seeing students outside of school, but in this case I was expecting it, plus they were getting their faces painted and enjoying themselves so much that I was pretty okay with it.

At the farmer’s market I also got a hot dog, a dough boy, and (free) cotton candy.  Score.

Plus, I saw one of the cutest, sweetest, smartest, nicest students I have (and probably will ever have) holding cotton candy and smiling and petting the cutest dog ever (black lab/border collie mix, holy crap!).  At one point he knelt down on the ground so the dog could lick his face, which made him giggle.  CUTEST THING EVER.

it was cuter than this bunny. maybe not.

And I got to drive the farm’s behemoth of a van to the market today.  I tell you what – if you’ve never driven a vehicle roughly comparable in size to a small U-Haul or a Hummer, you should.  You feel powerful and important and when the van goes over rolling bumps in the road, it bounces up and down in the most carnival-ride-esque way.

After I got home and took an accidental nap for two hours, I took a nice brisk walk to Thayer Street and bought a chai and walked around looking at all the happy people in their fall clothes.

I arrived home to discover that both Alex Day AND Charlie McDonnell posted new Youtube videos today, even though my Youtube subscription box said no such thing.  Delightful!

And finally, I learned from Twitter that young adult author and major life-inspiration  John Green’s first car was a blue 1991 Volvo 240 (while mine was a 1990 but otherwise the same).  He saw one, apparently, and almost wept, which is still my reaction to old blue Volvos.  I cannot even tell the story about when I traded it in because I get choked up.  There are tears in my eyes right now as I type about it, in fact, but I nonetheless like discovering things that I have in common with John Green.

Lynette the Volvo - gone but not forgotten.

I now intend to clean my kitchen, make Kraft Spirals for dinner, read my Martha Stewart LIVING October issue and probably watch something fantastically fall-ish, like When Harry Met Sally or Little Women or Robin Hood (all of which span seasons yet have a distinctly autumnal quality that makes for the best watching during this time of year).

Really, the pleasantness of the day is out of control.

Meanwhile, suggestions for next week’s theme?  Leave them for me, please, because I have a couple I am saving up but am not sure that I want to start them tomorrow!

Cover Songs!

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I have always had a special place in my heart for cover songs.  A lot of the time, I just do not have the energy to listen to music I do not already know, but at the same time I get sick of listening to the music I already know – a terrible conundrum, I say, and one with a single, brilliant, perfect solution.

I also have always wanted to be in a band, but find myself incapable of writing music.  Again – a problem with an elegant solution: cover band!  I have been in at least three imaginary cover bands – Cosmo Brown (with Allison), The Beach Tuesdays (with Julie, first album to be entitled Beauty and the Beach) and most recently Bowties Are Cool, with my sister Tessa.  Bowties Are Cool is a folky-duo that sings cover songs, some of which are Doctor Who themed.  This band shall actually come to fruition, unlike the others I was in, and our first big song will be Bad Wolf Rising.  Coming soon…Bowties Are Cool…watch for it.

So, to wrap up covers week, I have decided to share a selection of my favorite covers with you.  Certainly it will not be a comprehensive, official top ten list or anything, because that is too hard.  I tell you what, the invention of Youtube has really enriched my cover-song-lovin’ life, even if it makes narrowing things down harder.

10 Covers I Like: A (completely random and not comprehensive) List

1.  Everytime – original by Britney Spears, covered by Glen Hansard

CONFESSION: Everytime is my favorite Britney Spears song.  Most of the Britney songs I enjoy, I enjoy in a nostalgic way or in a “I like to dance to that” way, but Everytime I simply love, though sort of guiltily and in secret.  That tinkling music-box opening – SO GOOD!  I used to watch the video (Stephen A-Dorff-able, I say!) all the time and, well, I would get overly emotionally invested in it every time I did. Ah-ha-ha.

Now that Glen Hansard – indie darling, folk singing sensation – has covered it, I feel that I am free to love it openly, without the feelings of shame.

2. Daydream Believer – original by The Monkees, cover by Mary Beth Mazariaz

Honestly, this cover is a pretty lame though it was one of the early inspirations for my ever-growing “slow chick covers” playlist.  The thing is, it is so Dawson’s Creek.  Used several times throughout the show to score the love triangle among Dawson, Joey and Pacey, this song always reminds me (even though I think it is actually Dawson and Joey’s song) of Joey and Pacey.  And I’ll go ahead and say it: Joey and Pacey = The Greatest Love Story of Our Time.

3. California Dreaming – original by the Mamas and the Papas, cover by Wheezy Waiter

Musical-merit-ness-wise, this cover is nothing special – it is just a guy on an acoustic guitar singing in harmony with himself in his living room.  It is the pure comic brilliance of his three extra clone personas, and the breakfast-themed song pun  (of which Wheezy Waiter made several, including an excellent version of Radiohead’s Creep entitled Crepe) that make it worth watching (the first 57 seconds of it, at least).  And watch I do, over and over and over again.

4.  Rubber Ducky – original by Ernie, cover by Seesocovers (I do not actually know his name)

I find this charming.  It is a bit out of tune at times and it is a little strange that his eyes are so pinched shut – don’t care, though, makes me happy happy happy.


5.  Baby – originals by Justin Bieber and The Supremes, cover by Julia Nunes

Speaking of ukulele covers, Julia Nunes is adorable and does lots of good covers (plus original music too, which I am less interested in although it is also good).  In this video, she mashes up two of my favorite songs.  Maybe not ALL TIME favorite songs, but like, top 1000 for sure.  I haven’t got “Bieber Fever” exactly, but my temperature spikes a little when I hear Baby, and I have always had a thing for The Supremes.

6.  With a Little Help From My Friends – original by The Beatles, cover by Joe Cocker

I think if we’re talking official-like, this is the single greatest cover of all time.  It takes the original song and just beats the crap out of it.  Plus it was the theme song for The Wonder Years, which means I will forever associate it with Kevin Arnold aka Fred Savage aka the first celebrity crush I EVER HAD.


7. Here Comes My Baby – original by Cat Stevens, cover by Sons of Admirals

Sons of Admirals features Alex Day and Charlie McDonell, my two favorite British Vloggers.  I have already mentioned Charlie in this blog, since I am going to marry him after all (the legacy of celebrity crushes started by Fred Savage two decades ago continues); Alex Day is the skinny one who takes lead vocals at the start.  I also enjoy their band mates, and everything about this video, which is mostly just silly and fun.

8.  Dulce Carolina (Sweet Caroline) – original by Neil Diamond, cover by Julio Iglesias

I find this cover truly reinvigorates a song that I used to like, but that I have really soured on due to its overplayedness here in the New England region.  I genuinely do not understand what this song has to do with the Red Sox, and it annoys me.  I do, however, love the way this cover is all in Spanish except for the words “Sweet Caroline.”


9.  Paparazzi – original by Lady Gaga, cover by Greyson Chance

SO GOOD.  The best part of this video is the faces of the girls in the background (I particularly like the wavy-haired blonde in the black tank top) as they develop a huge crush on Greyson “Beiber-hair” Chance. Even Ellen Degeneres agrees with me – this kid is awesome!!

10.  Fairytale of New York – original by the Pogues, cover by Brett Domino (and Alexa Goddard, who we don’t care about)

Honestly, if you get nothing else out of this post, covers week, this entire blog, I hope that you at least will visit Brett Domino’s Youtube Channel.  He does my favorite covers on Youtube (and I also enjoy his original songs, such as “What Would You Do [If a Shark Started Eating You]”.  I know the song I included here is completely off season and you probably feel guilty listening to it now when it is not Christmas-time, but I searched my heart and decided I had to include it because it is my favorite cover of a song EVER EVER EVER.

There you have it!  Tomorrow will begin Dalek Week in celebration of the return of Doctor Who!!!  I am also taking suggestions for themes, as I have nothing lined up after Dalek Week!

P.S.:

dreamy dreamy dreamy

Wesley Crusher, the Wheaten Terrier Puppy

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This is my completely pretend wheaten terrier puppy Wesley Crusher, so named because the “Wheaten” in wheaten terrier makes me think of Wil Wheaton, who played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation and I think it will be adorable to call this obviously very intimidating little fella “Crusher” for short.

get 'em Crusher!

In the life where Wesley Crusher is my puppy, I live in London, England and I am married to British Youtube sensation Charlie McDonnell (Charlieissocoollike on the Youtube).  Don’t be fooled by his picture, guys – he’s not a teenager, but is in fact fully 20 years old and completely within range for me to marry and have it not be altogether that weird.  What makes it weird is that I’ve never met him or anything, but then we’ve all got our celeb (sort of) crushes, haven’t we?

charlieissomysoulmatelike

Since I already used up my career as a successful young adult writer in my life with Robin Hood the Shiba Inu puppy, I think in my life with Crusher I’ll just do projects, generally, and somehow make a living off that.  I’ll make Youtube videos and nerdy graphic t-shirt designs (after I get someone to teach me Illustrator*) and freelance blog writing and of course, music with the band “Bowties Are Cool”, the folk-singing cover / Doctor Who tribute band that I belong to with my sister Tessa, in which I play banjo.

Meanwhile, thanks Jenna, for sharing your pretend puppy story! You are the only one this week to do it, so I’ll re-post it here with a picture of a dog that I picked out to go with it, which hopefully you like:

“My pretend puppy is Donald, the Dandy Dinmont Terrier. In the life where I own this puppy, I live in a farmhouse in Provence, France. The house is pre-1800s, and Donald is great at catching any vermin that find their way in. We make our own cheese, and are working on our own wines.”

jenna's pretend puppy donald, the dandy dinmont terrier

Seriously excellent pretend puppy story.

*Actually, I am looking for Adobe Illustrator lessons maybe.  I think I could learn out of a book, but I’d love to get a couple sessions in with someone knowledgeable.