This happened last night, 10:00PM:
It was only a minor set-back, in terms of pulling myself together food-wise. In the past three days I have gotten myself back on the right track. I have eaten many fruits and quite a few vegetables and virtually nothing with added sugar.
That last has been particularly hard since I am coming down off a trip to my Grandma’s, where apart from having had 24/7 access to chips, ice cream and soda, I basically mainlined Starbursts for 48 hours straight. It is just what you do at Grandma’s, but suddenly stopping the steady stream of Starburst sugar sent my system staggering.
(p.s. I just won a gold medal for alliteration!)
So although I was basically tweaking on processed sugar and jumping out of my skin looking for another hit, I avoided temptation and I think it’s mostly out of my system.
I’ve had but the one quesadilla incident that I consider a failure.
Of course, it wasn’t ME who made the quesadilla, it was my Cheese Monster. Of the Cheese Monster, Ze Frank says:
And when I get that feeling in my stomach, you know the feeling when all of a sudden you get a ball of energy and it shoots down into your legs and up into your arms and it tells you to get up and stand up and go to the refrigerator and get a cheese sandwich: that’s my cheese monster talking and my cheese monster will never be satisfied by cheddar, only the cheese of accomplishment.
Ze Frank is like my new guru: I listen to what he says and I think about it. He takes mundane topics and speaks about them with humor and insight. He has crazy eyes that I absolutely love and thanks to him, I have a name to give the thing inside me that drives me to get up and eat some cheese, which is a thing I do a lot, and that name is Cheese Monster and it’s brilliant.
Of course, my Cheese Monster is still craving cheddar (and feta, manchego, wensleydale, provolone, &c.) rather than accomplishment. At least it has a name now, so I can work on redirecting it.
Ze Frank also just just just put up THIS video about having high cholesterol in which he talks to an unnamed inner-version of himself that I believe to be HIS Cheese Monster. This video SPEAKS TO MY SOUL:
I am very bad at fighting that inner voice, but I do want to live a longer and healthier life and my Cheese Monster has been out of control lately.
It is something to think about, and to work on. I am very good at thinking about things, it’s just the working on them that I need to work on. I’m working on it though.
More areas of my life in which I am pulling myself back together to follow!