Semi-wise, semi-regular


I’ve decided this should be Pull Yourself Together! Week.

The “Yourself” referring, naturally, to me.

You may have noticed that I spend a lot of time telling amusing/appalling anecdotes about eating junk food and being absurdly lazy.  While those are true stories, the truer truth is that most of the time I have my shit together.

Let’s not carried away: even at my best I am not someone you would show in a motivational setting as a shining beacon of How You Should Live.  But I am, for the most part, a productive and functioning member of society, who makes semi-wise life choices on a semi-regular basis.

Except for times when I do not.

Times like when I eat 12 ice cream sandwiches in a week, I forgo exercising regularly, I snooze my alarm clock too much, I forget to charge my electric toothbrush, I stop answering emails, I don’t change my sheets at particularly appropriate intervals, I watch entire seasons of television in unacceptably small windows of time, I abandon any and all creative projects, I fail to nurture my interpersonal relationships, I shower less often than you would like, I go out in public in holey t-shirts and flip-flops.

Other things, probably too, but I think you get the point.

The problem is that many of the things on that list that make me feel like my life has fallen apart in August start out as real treats in June/July:

Snooze that alarm clock for an hour and a half because you don’t really have anywhere to go and your new bedroom is absurdly pleasant for early-morning snoozing?


Eat whatever you want because you have no regular schedule and it is summer, dammit?

Sounds like a plan.

Stop showering, wearing make-up and putting any effort into your clothes because you never go anywhere where you may see people?

Why the heck not!?

Start Battlestar Galactica over again at the beginning because you finally finished and now you MISS IT?

Best frakkin’ idea I’ve ever heard of.

And so on.

As these things begin to pile up, though, they stop being relaxing and fun.  Suddenly I take a look at my life and wonder where it all went.

So with three weeks left in summer, I figure it’s about time I started pulling myself together, lest I show up for the first day of school two hours late, wearing a dirty Ron Weasley t-shirt and toting naught but a bag of Cheetos for lunch.

If you knew the version of me I have become right now, that very scenario would seem dangerously close to realistic.

Updates to follow this week on my success at sorting out the biggest areas needing my attention: food, exercise, sleep schedule, general productivity….



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