I have been accused of being a hipster. I am not one.
One item of evidence that has been furnished against me was that I wear fake glasses. Obviously, I do this. My blog is named fauxspectacles; I like fake glasses.
To combat this piece of evidence, I find myself in the greatest Catch-22 of my life:
See, I’ve been wearing fake glasses since my freshman year of college. That’s ELEVEN years ago, guys. My love of fake glasses has always sprung from a desire to have REAL glasses, which started when I was a child and I would tell my mother I was plagued by headaches and needed to see the eye doctor because I really needed glasses even though my vision was fine. I would gladly trade my fake glasses for real ones in a second.
But anyway, the main point is that I have been wearing fake glasses for over a decade, before hipsters were even really a thing.
I wore fake glasses BEFORE IT WAS COOL, is what I am saying.
And in an instant, my entire argument against hipsterdom falls apart, you see?
Also, an otter: