At present my faithful readers number in the low dozens. I would like to try to increase that number and I have devised a strategy that I think is certain to succeed. It is:
Henceforth, I will post exclusively about Wheaten Terriers and Handsome Men with Beards.
Apart from the fact that I really do love wheaten terriers and handsome men with beards, my decision comes from solid logical reasoning and cold hard facts.
See, I get a steady stream of readers ranging in number from 5 to 30 per day who read old posts that I have written. According to my site statistics, which are pretty detailed, these far-flung mystery readers pretty much only read two posts: Wesley Crusher, the Wheaten Terrier which I wrote for Pretend Puppy Week back in August and Men with Beards which I wrote for Things That Happen in November Week back in November.
Seriously, those two months-old musings were my two most-viewed posts this week, with more total views than all of my brand new posts combined. Strangers care more about seeing Jon Hamm with a beard and about the imaginary dog I invented to go along with the imaginary life in England with my imaginary husband Charlieissocoollike than my actual friends care about the rest of my thoughts on life.
Not that I blame anyone involved at all: Jon Hamm and Wesley Crusher the pretend wheaten terrier are more handsome/adorable than my thoughts on life are interesting.
Surely, then, the path to world-wide blogging fame lies with wheaten terriers and men with beards. Probably I will only post about them for one week, unless the thing really takes off…which less face it, it probably will.
Welcome to Wheatens n’ Beards Week!