Niki’s Bedroom Floor Plans: A History: Chapter 1: Bad Energy


Overwhelming public opinion dictates that the theme of the coming week shall be Niki’s Bedroom Floor Plans: A History.

(“Overwhelming public opinion” in this case refers to 100% of respondents to my recent poll – 100% of 4 people agreed, although one of those people was me…)

Moving on…

My bedroom is quite small.

It has no closet, a slanty ceiling/wall and a small but theoretically usable alcove that is made mostly unusable by the encroachment of four inches of heating vent on each side.  The only furnitures I have in the room are my bed, a book case (there used to be two, but you’ll learn all about that), a side table and a wooden dining chair that I use(d) like a nightstand.  I keep my clothes in a closet across the hall, which has shelves in it that act as a bureau- the only drawback of this system is that sometimes I walk around with no pants or clothes, and sometimes my sister has people over to our apartment and I get trapped ten feet down a now-public hallway from all my clothes.  This is a rare occurrence, however, so I do not resent my lack of closet or chest of drawers.

So the challenges of my bedroom stand thus: the restrictive size, the abnormal shape, the lack of access to the circulating air which comes from the one and only window nestled deep in the unusable alcove, and my tendency toward night terrors, which I (perhaps wrongly) attribute to environmental causes related to the arrangement of my furniture (and occasionally the color of my sheets.)

Floor Plan 1: Bad Energy

Sheet Color: dark purple

Lasted: 1 night

When I first arranged my bedroom, I did not have the book case or the side table – only a bed and the chair.  I ended up with a plan that looked like this on my first night in the apartment:

sparse. stupid.

It was an awful, awful, awful, awful night of sleep.

Never mind that it was my first night of sleep in a new apartment that was mostly empty and spooky and unfurnished.  I blamed my bad sleep and nightmares on the fact that my bed (and therefore my feet) were facing the window, and this is apparently very bad feng shui, as it causes you to absorb all the bad energy that flows from the outside in through the window.

i just absorbed it all, man.

It did not yet occur to me to question the placement of my wall art or the color of my sheets, but (spoiler alert!) these things will come into play in later chapters throughout the week as I continue to be plagued by mild, terror-inducing, sleepy-time hallucinations.

Back at the beginning of things, I went about changing the floor plan immediately, and acquiring additional furniture items.

The End of Chapter 1.

Look forward in the coming week to the follow installments in the series:

  • Chapter 2: Stiflingly Airless
  • Chapter 3: Desperate Times
  • Chapter 4: Resignation
  • Chapter 5: Important Cosmetic Changes
  • Chapter 6: The Final Chapter (I hope)

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