Covers Week 2: Judgement Day

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Today we are going to take some time to judge a few books by their covers.

We’re going to use books I haven’t read so that my judgments can be  unbiased.  I am, however, going to choose those books from among those young adult books recommended to me by Amazon based on my browsing history, which means that I will have a pretty good idea what they are like and my judgments may also therefore be completely biased.

Entwined by Heather Dixon

Entwined cover, you’re pretty.  Very pretty.  I assume that because you are pretty, your book will be very good.  This is always the case in life, is it not?  I find myself intrigued by the vines in particular – will all this entwinement in the story be metaphorical (which seems likely) or literal (as implied by the presence of significant vine growth around the border)?  I cannot wait to find out.

Goliath by Scott Westerfeld

So I see gears and goggles, Goliath cover.  Also some kind of flying animal ship and a crown.  You wouldn’t happen to be a steampunk, would you?  (Also, don’t try to deny it because I know you are because I read the first two books in your series.)

Inheritance by Christopher Paolini

Hey, Inheritance cover.  I don’t take kindly to your kind around here.  And by “your kind” I mean books that stink.  How’d you end up in books that I might want to buy?  I know you’re a young adult book and I know you are about dragons and those are two things I enjoy.  Also the dragon illustration on your cover is pretty charming and that is a nice shade of green you are made of and I even like that typeface that Inheritance is written in.  But still – I can see the words “Christopher Paolini” splashed across the bottom of you, leaving me in little doubt that you are not a good book.

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare

Clockwork Prince cover, I can tell that you are about an Asianish man who is likely made of clockwork.  Perhaps he’s also a prince?  A dragon prince, probably, judging from his glowing staff.  Then again, your predecessor Clockwork Angel also featured a young man on the cover who I had once assumed to be made of clockwork, and he was not.  I find that you are sending me mixed messages, Clockwork Variety of Characters series and I don’t much appreciate it.

Meanwhile, I have to get busy making some bear ears and watching Battlestar Galactica.  Did you know that you can follow me on Twitter now?  It’s @fauxspectacles.  So far I don’t really Tweet much, I mostly follow.  But I think I probably have lots of interesting and important things to say that you might want to hear.

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